What do you do when you have everything you wanted and asked for?
You say thank you.
This year has been a bit tricky for me. I lost my job, my kid got hurt, my kid had surgery, I got really sick twice (for about a month and a half total) and I got my partner sick. I tried to be really selective finding a new job that was a good fit, but it spiraled me into that anxious place where I never find another job and we lose the house and then I die and my cats eat me - eyes first.
I mean, in the midst of this chaos, my book came out. In the background of the anxiety, my family had my back. At the end of every shitty day, my husband was there to hold me.
Then, I got better. I got a new (fucking awesome) job. My kid is healing. I published my first book. I got everything I wanted.
After 2.5 months of praying and lighting candles and worrying, I have this hole where the fear used to be. Yes, tarot readers have anxiety, too. It's not all rainbows and kittens, kiddos. So the anxiety left and there is this hole. What do I do with that hole?
I stuff it full of gratitude. Honestly, I was thinking about my life this morning. I have a wonderful family - my Dad and Mom drove to the CITY at NIGHT on a SCHOOL NIGHT to be at my book signing. They fucking love me. I'm married to my Person and he still gives me butterflies every time I see him. My kids are amazing. I have Plenty and I have Enough to share. I'm able to care for my friends. I'm able to donate to charities. I'm able to volunteer. I'm able to give.
I have space to fill, you guys. The anxiety is wandering away and insisting that I put something else there. Instead of greed or depression or more anxiety - I find that Gratitude fills the hole nicely. We all do better when we all do better.
Thank you. I am grateful. More, please. ;)